The Nefarious Breadstick Beast

The Toppled Chef was in her kitchen one day making Smitten Kitchen pumpernickel grissini. Smitten Kitchen, as you can see, shows a smooth dough, like a sheet of vellum, lying obediently on the counter to be sliced into perfect thin strips. 

The Toppled Chef was having no such luck with her chemistry experiment. The "craggy mass of dough" was more like a loose collection of caraway filaments, and, when finally squished into the shape of a ball and set to rise, did not yield a matzoh-shaped mat of floppy gluten when rolled. This is what happened.

A gerrymandered island of dough took shape, impossible to force back into geometric uniformity. Also, the flour used to keep it on the silicon mat and not clinging stickily to the rolling pin gave it a pallid, unappetizing look.

The results, however, probably tasted just as good as the original.

You may wonder how exhibit A turned into exhibit B. The Toppled Chef wonders this, too. What does it matter, though, when delectable, crunchy snacks are the result? However, has anyone successfully managed to roll dough into a perfect rectangle? The Toppled Chef has never accomplished this and welcomes all suggestions.